Responsibilities. Self-doubts. Questions of how long the pain will last.
You're going through a lot.
But you're also doing your best.
Sure, perhaps tomorrow you could do better. But today, given what you're going through and what led you here, you're doing the best you can.
Remember that. Recognize that. Because it'll help you put another foot forward when you can't see the road ahead. Remember that you're in the exact place you are for a reason. Find that reason. If you can't find one, perhaps you can create it.
What's something you can do right now that will make the moment in front of you just a little better?
Maybe you pick a piece of trash up off the ground, thanking Mother Earth for always supporting you. She will thank you back.
Maybe you send a text to your friend telling them you miss them. They will feel your love.
Perhaps you lean over to kiss your significant other, despite all the challenges you're both going through. Perhaps you turn inward and kiss yourself, showing your inner home some love.
What if you remind the people around you that, no matter how difficult things are now, no matter how much pain you're in, you still recognize that they're human beings too, perhaps lost souls just like yourself.
Have compassion.
Remember that when people are nasty, when they are selfish, when they are unfair, all that really means is they're hurting. Maybe they're expressing that hurt differently than you. Maybe their expression of pain comes out as pain unto you. As hard as that might be for you, try to remember that it's their pain. You're not responsible, no matter what you did. Even if you made mistakes, it's still their responsibility to respond to your mistakes.
Their background, from the moment they were born to this moment today, has led them through a lifetime of experiences that caused them to respond as they did. While they may not have been fair, they did what you would have done, had you gone through the same life as they did.
Have compassion for them. Have compassion for yourself. Have compassion for the decisions you made, and remember you were doing the best you could with what you had at the time. Maybe you would do a better job today than you did five years ago, but that's a good thing. That means you've grown. Five years from now, you will do better than you do today.
But you're always here, now, today.
You're never where you were five years ago, and you'll never be where you'll be five years from now. You can only ever be here, now, today. And you're doing the best you can, here, now, today.
Remind yourself of this when times get tough, and when things are easygoing. The more you recognize this, the lighter you'll feel during times of difficulty.
If you're stressed and anxious, pause and remind yourself that it's okay to feel this way. If your child was scared, you'd do whatever you could to lessen their fears. There's a scared child inside of you. Treat it as you would your own child. Show it loving kindness, but don't be afraid to put your attention on something else if you have to.
We don't need to be so hard on ourselves. We're already in pain. Why punish ourselves for it? What if instead we learned to feel the pain as it comes, and as it goes? Isn't that enough?
Please share this message with someone who's doing the best they can right now.
Live with substance!
Gabe Orlowitz
