Every time you get bothered, there are two questions you ought to ask yourself. What am I actually bothered by? And who am I that's being bothered?
First, what are you actually being bothered by?
Is it really the thing happening out there, that's giving you trouble? Is it really the soup being too cold, or the driver going too slow? Really think about it. Is that what you're uncomfortable about?
Or are you really struggling with what your mind is saying, and the emotions your heart is emanating?
If you stop and think about it, your internal state is what you care about, not the soup or the driver. In other words, there's nothing inherent in cold soup or slow drivers that is bothersome. It's your inner reaction to those things which is the problem.
It's the voice in your head yelling at the driver. It's the tension that swells up in your neck. It's the ball of fiery anger in your belly. These are all of the things that you're uncomfortable with, not the soup or the driver.
It's easy to prove this. How? Somewhere out there on this planet of nearly 8 billion people, someone likes cold soup. There's someone out there who likes to drive slow.
The second question, much more important, is who is being bothered?
We've now established that it's not the outside world that bothers you, but rather your thoughts and emotions - the inner reaction to the outside world.
But still, who is it that's being bothered? You might say, well I am. But who are you? Who, or better yet, what, is the quality of the you being bothered? Who are you, at your core?
When the outside world - let's say cold soup - triggers an inner reaction - let's say angry thoughts - then who is it that's experiencing that inner reaction, hearing those thoughts?
It's important to get in touch with this part of you, since it's your truth. It's the place from which you respond to life. It's your center of will.
The more you get in touch with this center, the more you can control how you respond to your triggers. We know that we can't control our triggers, but we can control our response to them.
That's why it's so important to get in touch with the real you inside.
These are two simple, yet very deep questions that I recommend you spend some time on. Every time you get bothered, you ought to make it a habit to ask yourself these questions.
What am I actually bothered by? And who am I that's being bothered?
Live with substance!
Gabe Orlowitz
