The things we want
We all want fulfillment, so we look for a job. We want love, so we look for another person. We want freedom, so we look for money. We want peace, so we look at our leaders. We want a sense of belonging, so we look to our communities.
But what if we're looking in the wrong places?
Fulfillment, love, freedom, peace, and a sense of belonging are not found in a job, a soulmate, money, leaders, or your community. They're all found within you. They're internal states. So why are we looking for external things?
Losing your wallet
If you lose your wallet, you don't start looking within yourself to find it, because you know the wallet's not in there. You look between the couch, under your bedsheets, behind the stuff on the table. In other words, you look in the appropriate places.
But when we say we want fulfillment, why do we default to finding a career? If we want love, why do we automatically search for another person?
If we truly want freedom, why are we looking for money? Freedom in its truest sense - the freedom we all actually want - is freedom from ourselves, freedom from the inner critic, the part of us that never shuts up, the part of us that creates problems and worry about everything. That's what we want freedom from.
Being real with ourselves
Why are we using external things to go after all of these internal states? We already know this doesn't work. Why are we taking the indirect route to joy, love, and fulfillment, when we could learn to take the direct route?
Instead of asking, How can I find a better job where I'm fulfilled?... why don't we try asking, How can I learn to be fulfilled no matter what job I have?
Instead of asking, How can I find my soulmate?... why don't we ask, How do I feel unconditional love, no matter if I'm with someone or not?
Getting to the root
The whole premise of this blog has to do with going directly to the root. Too many of us are so fixated on changing the outside world, the surface, so that it affects the root. We take the roundabout route to joy, forgetting that there's a more direct way.
A plant can get all the sun it needs, but if it doesn't have nutritious and well-hydrated soil, it won't grow. It's the same thing with us.
We can absolutely indulge in and appreciate all the world has to offer, but if we don't address the root problems of why we're feeling a lack of fulfillment, love, freedom, peace, and a sense of belonging, then we'll forever be unhappy.
For now, let's at least acknowledge what it is we really want, so we can stop fighting with the world every single day.
There's a better way to live.
Live with substance!