Why most people are confused about happiness
In order to lead fulfilled lives, we must work on ourselves and get to the root of our problems. I call this substance. Yet most people only try to fix the symptoms and the external world, or style.
To be fair, I think most of us are confused. Even if we know money won't buy happiness, we still naively buy into the belief that our external conditions have to be just right in order for us to be happy.
Why should I be happy if I don't have the job I want? How could I be happy if my spouse leaves me? How could I be happy if my kids die?
These are all very fair, deep, and serious questions.
But the truth is, the outside world has nothing to do with you, or me, or anyone. You might think it does because all your life you've based your identity and happiness on it. But how well is that working for you? I know it hasn't worked well for me.
My happiness has become so cheap, so dependent on what's going on around me, and I'm learning that there's a better way to live. That's why I'm passionate about spreading this message.
As long as our fulfillment depends on what we have and what our life conditions are, we're setting ourselves up to live a life of constant struggle.
As important as your job, your house, and your kids all are in your life, they still all belong to your outside world, not your inner world. Not the world that only you experience and no one else. After all, that's where you want to feel nice, right? On the inside?
What you really want is to feel a deep sense of well-being all the time, and that can only take place in your inner world. You just think that by getting that new job, that new relationship, that new lifestyle, that you'll get what you're looking for.
If you don't clean up the mess inside, the outer world will never rid you of your problems. It's only a matter of time before the same troubles you're experiencing now will arise in any new situation life presents you.
So my question for you is, why not first go to the root of the problem, rather than trying to manipulate and influence 13.8 billion years of creation in the making?
Let me explain.
The exact moment we experience every single second of every day of our lives took approximately 13.8 BILLION years to come together. In other words, starting from the Big Bang, all the forces of the universe had to come together exactly the way they did in order for you to be experiencing the exact moment unfolding in front of you right now.
What are the chances that this moment is going to fit YOUR preferences? You're one of nearly 8 billion people on this planet, each with his or her own set of wants and desires. The chances of 13.8 billion years of creation happening exactly how you want is slim to none.
So why make your happiness depend on that?
Again, most of us believe we can only be happy when things go our way. When the weather's just right, when people say the right things to us, when the political climate is fair, when people are nice to us, when we have the job we want, when we get the raise we want, when our relationship is perfect, when we're always passionate about something.
These are all external conditions.
The chances of any of those things happening, let alone ALL of them ALL the time, are just zero! It's a losing formula! Yet this is how most people think about happiness, if everything outside is just right.
The outside world has nothing to do with you, so wouldn't it follow that your inside world has nothing to do with the outside?
I want this to be a wakeup call for everyone, to demand you to look inward and ask yourself what you want to feel, why you're not feeling it now, and commit to finding answers on how to feel it all the time.
I'm committed, and that's why I'm writing about it every day in this blog. I don't have all the answers, and I still catch myself wanting to change something on the outside in order to feel better. But at least now I catch myself and I'm not doing it unconsciously. Over time I will get better. And so will you, if you open your eyes to this