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A message to my fellow 20-30 year olds (but really to everybody)

Everybody wants to feel good inside. Ultimately, that's all we want.


Forget the dream career. The unlimited travel. The abundance of money. The power. The status. The relationships. The ideal family.

Forget all that.

In the end, it all amounts to the same thing. You just want to feel good inside no matter what happens.

Isn't that right?

Then why do so many of us base our happiness on external conditions? If things are going well on the outside, we're happy. But as soon as someone says something, as soon as we don't get what we want, or we do get what we don't want, the happiness disappears.

Our happiness is so cheap, and I'm learning there's a better way to live.

This is something I want everybody to understand, but specifically my fellow millennials since we grow up in an age where we're so used to getting quick fixes from technology, the internet, other people, and really anything outside of ourselves.

I've lived most of my life in this less-than-ideal state, and I'm realizing it's not a good strategy if I want to experience lasting, inner happiness.


Imagine your well-being like a house. Almost everybody has a lot of crap lying around - clutter, things you don't use, things that serve no purpose, dirt, etc. If we dare to look inside, we realize that for most of us, our internal state is a lot worse than any messy house.

But most of us don't bother to clean it. We don't even bother to look inside. We just keep looking outward, trying to find more seemingly good things to bring home. Have you noticed this game never stops?

We think that if we just pile more good from outside into our lives, then we'll feel better. But the truth is, all the mess inside just gets pushed down further.

I'm not at a place where I can teach you how to clean your inner house. I'm learning how to do that myself right now. But I do know that it's the only way to experience the deep sense of happiness that we're all after.

So instead of looking for more good on the outside, why not ask yourself what's keeping you from experiencing all the good now? What mess do you have inside that is preventing this?

Remember, you don't want to feel good outside. You want to feel good inside.

This is the whole premise of Substance Over Style.

I beg you to stop what you're doing and ask yourself this question. What do I really want, and am I going about it in the right way?

Live with substance!


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